Dear Friends,
Though we are united by our common sojourn in CMC we may have different tastes and sensibilities. In Men’s Hostel profane humour was the norm as is in any Male Hostel. All of us are jaded adults who have heard it all and seen it all, so hopefully are not disturbed with profanities. However if you feel your sensibilities will be hurt, please do not read!

Our Batch of 1978 was unique because we were the last to have the traditional 3 day initiation of Men’s Hostel, the last Batch to have premedical subjects and the first to have the massive fee hike (from Rs800 to Rs3000 a princely sum in those days). This is the description of some of the events which took place during ragging. This was already posted for my classmates and I am sharing with you. I request all those who read it and like it to press the like button. Those who dislike it to post their comments and everyone else is also free to post their comments. I would also like to apologize to all my ‘Senior Doctor Sirs’ and ‘Lords and Masters’ for any transgression I may be willingly or unwillingly be committing.

Dear 78ers,
It was on 17th july 1978 that we joined CMC. I will never forget that day when after paying the fees at SBI Carmen block I met Agroo, Datta & Venky who were to be my room mates. We walked down the path to the ‘Mansion of Gods’, on the way we encountered seniors who seemed unusually friendly. The FAQ was anyone you know in the Womens Hostel?
On reaching the hostel we were told that we would have to be interviewed by the Psychiatrist, Hostel Sec & Chaplain. The Psychiatrist was Bhanu Pant, he asked couple of questions which I don’t remember and showed me a drawing. If my memory holds me good then the drawing resembled a ‘Phallus with fluid dripping into a whirlpool’ and ask my opinion on the drawing. I said “it seems like something erotic,” to which he again asked, “what do you define as erotic”. I was sent out with a provisional diagnosis of ‘castration complex’. If Men Hostel lore is to believed then in previous years a machete was suddenly swung by the psychiatrist perilously close to the family jewels and if self preservation instincts kicked in like protecting them with your hands then a definitive diagnosis of castration complex was given.
The interview with the Hostel Secretary was relatively straight forward, we were given a choice of rooms and the choice include attached bathroom and AC. I wisely chose a single room but it is rumoured that those who opted for attached bathroom with AC had to have a chamber pot tied around their waist a shower sprout above their head and an aerosol can inside their shirt for rest of the initiation (Attached bathroom & AC).

The chaplain interview I somehow don’t remember though the chaplain was Raj Dayal Singh possibly nothing out of the ordinary was said which is expected from a man of God.

Next we were all taken to the mess for dinner, all the tables were put together and we sat around with the seniors surrounding us. They were very nice and asked us individually whether we would like an egg an used their own coupon books to pay. Once the dinner was over each of us were told to stand on our chair and introduce ourselves. Each introduction was followed by loud cheering of the crowd. Everything seemed so hunky dory until the bugle blew Tara Taraa (it actually was not a bugle it was a trumpet played by Tricky Dick). Then immediately the mood of the crowd changed, “down on your knees” was what could be heard. We had to crawl up to the upper common room and if we dared look up our heads were pushed down. In the common room were had to assemble around a podium still on our knees and our head still bent while the Hostel Sec Sumant Khanna address us. Our Batch was collectively christened as the ‘Pseudopriapistic catamites’, whatever that mouthful meant! The speech went on and on, some excerpts are “you all have to carry a handkerchief neatly folded in your front pocket at all time so your Lord and Masters can blow their nose on it whenever required”. We all were alloted to Lords and Masters and each given a new name by which we were to answer to. This is a deep dark secret which was to be guarded by the Laws of the Mens Hostel ‘Omerta’. However now having almost reached the half century mark I will reveal the ‘ragging names’ of our batch.

1. Abraham Muthunayagam – Abhi Mooth Ayega (This was considered a classic name in those days and also prophetic as he is now a Urologist)
2. Alfred Job Daniel – Jobs daughter gave Alfred Haat Daniel (I think it was a reference to Dr. C.K. Job’s daughter ditching Alfred Edward whether true or false God alone Knows)
3. Amitava Biswas – Guava up my Arse (most probably referring to his constipated look)
4. Bipin Chandra Paul – Bitten on my Ball (most probably because of his meek look)
5. Chrishantha Binojan Vishwalingam – Crusted Rusted Twisted Lingam (beats me why that name was consided appropriate)
6. David Srinivasagam – David See-My-Arse-and-Cum (possibly due to his voyeuristic tendencies)
7. John(ny) Christo – Horny Cysto (had to do something with that name)
8. Murli Krishna – Merrily Kiss my Dongs (We still refer to him affectionately as ‘Dongs’)
9. Philip John Prakash – Fill-up-my-Arse (I think our seniors were still caught up in the Freudian ‘anal phase’)
10. Philipose John – Phimosed Horn (I don’t think that was true about him)
11. Praneeth Peter – Pet my Peter (Unfortunately he was not with us for long enough. R.I.P. )
12. Premal Das – Anal Mass (You will all agree that sometimes he tended to be a pain in the _)
13. Sajiv John – F.L.-torn-that’s-why-I-was born (for the uninitiated that stands for French Letters)
14. Satish Korah Kuruvilla – Satish Lawda Kudiwalla (A true hermphrodite both organ present )
15. Srideo Jha – Seedhe Jhaat (whenever I called him that he would say, “Seedhe Nahi Hain Dekh Le”. I never took him up to his challenge, may his soul rest in peace)
16. Sunil Agarwal – Screw-nil-Bugger-all (That is the reason why he is still know as Buggeroo)
17. Sunil Datta – Screw-nil Dartos (Once in a while we called him Dartos affectionately otherwise he was just Datta)
18. Sunil Thomas Chandy – Randy Chandy (He is always been known as Candy)
19. Suresh Daniel – Spaniel Daniel (During ragging he was frequently asked to bark and no his bark is not worse than his bite)
20. Valsan Philip Varghese – Vulva Well-Greased (No comments)
21. B. Venkatesh – V.D. Wank-at-ease (Venky, Kusoo, Tiru KKBJL Gopalan and now known in Australia as Bala looking forwards to seeing you)
22. Jones Kurian – Kudiyana from Pudiyana (referring to his recent visit to Ludhiana)

Will someone help regarding the names of M. Anthony David Swaroop Kumar, Alexander John, Babu George, John Mathew, Neelam Rajendra Charles, Prio Sada, B. Samson, Shashi Varma, Simon Rajaratnam and Tambi Abraham Cherian. Tee Seng Kiong was not given a name as he was already ragged the previous year.
So friends here ends this letter, if someone wants to bump me off that Calcutta is a good opportunity. I will continue this trip down memory lane as and when the spirit moves me. So take care, cheerio and khuda hafiz!
Raju