Getting lifted!

Tradition is considered important in Vellore and the seniors take on the responsibility of educating the gullible juniors about the traditions. The graduating interns during graduation day entertainment, gave their own spin to the CMC Motto “Not to be ministered unto, but to minister”, modified to “Not to be conned but to con”. And ‘Ace Cons’ abounded in the corridors of Men’s Hostel. ‘Getting lifted’ was supposed to be one such tradition and the intricacies of this tradition were taught to the juniors.
One day while returning from SA Hall I saw a large gathering of my classmates in a slum room. Curious to know what was going on I entered the room. Two of my classmates were sitting on the floor facing each other with their knees flexed in front and a group trying to persuade a classmate to be part of this challenge. “What challenge?” I asked. “Well” said a spokesperson for the group “_____ says he can lift 3 people together.” Pointing to a not particularly muscular or bodybuilder type person in the room, who nodded in acknowledgement when I looked at him. “And we are trying to persuade _____to take up the challenge.”
Well their powers of persuasion seemed to work especially when one member of the group vouched that he had been lifted and it was an amazing experience. So now to take the challenge _____ was supposed to recline on the folded knees of one of the people sitting on the ground while the person at the foot end sat between his folded knees facing him. The person on whose folded knees _____ was reclining then passed his hands under his armpits, around his shoulders and clasped his fingers behind his neck in a ‘full Nelson’ wrestling grip. The person at the foot end put his arms around his thighs and clasped his hands. Then the lifter stood over him and with all theatrics of a weight lifter about to lift a heavy barbell he bent down and unbuttoned his trousers. The lifted went into spasms akin to tonic, clonic contractions in a grand mal seizure but was pinned down at the shoulders and the thigh, only movement possible was arching his pelvis upwards making the job of the lifter easier. The lifter with more theatrics pulled down his underwear to expose his now shriveled frightened member and it’s two crouching sidekicks. Now the lifted tried spitting unsuccessfully in the direction of the lifter and followed it up with some bleepable expletives. The lifter produce a wooden foot ruler and measured the size of the already shriveled member, loudly announcing the figure, there was booing and someone said “he’s brought down the class average.” Then the lifter using the ruler lifted the member along with it’s sidekicks till it pointed skywards to a cheering audience. “See! I’ve lifted 3 people.” he said though the comparison left a lot to imagination.

Now the lifted was released and as you can imagine, he was furious. After quickly regaining his modesty he could not decide on whom in the gathering to vent his fury. He spotted the person who had vouched that being lifted was an amazing experience. He slapped him and said “I’ve got nothing private left!”
This quote has gone down in posterity and is forever remembered by our batch.

The 1971 Indo-Pak War through the eyes of a child!

Recent Bollywood movie with the 1971 Indo-Pak war in it’s backdrop made me realize that the current generation is totally oblivious about the war. “Those ignorant of history are condemned to repeat it.” Since these events happened in front of me I took it upon myself to educate this generation.
I was only 10 years old when the Indo-Pak War took place. It was the last full scale Indian and Pakistani confrontation if you don’t count the Kargil War, which was on a much smaller scale.
It began in my memory when Pakistani Sabre Jets invaded Indian airspace and attempted to bomb Agra Air Force base in December 1971. It is said that the Taj Mahal was covered by burlap and leaves to preventing the moon light reflecting on the marble and thus saved it from being sighted and bombed. The plans of the Pakistanis were thwarted by the Indian Air Force Gnats, who shot down the Sabre Jets making the pilots instant heroes and got their 15 minutes of fame.
The American made Sabre Jets were much quicker and were equipped with heat seeking missiles, which would sense the heat of the jet’s exhaust. But the British made Gnats like their name compensated by smaller size and dexterity. The pilots avoided the heat seeking missiles by turning off the engine intermittently or flying towards the sun confusing the missile.
On the 3rd of December 1971, I opened the local newspaper, to be greeted by the biggest headlines I have ever seen. Big both in content and size, it read “India declares war on Pakistan”. The headlines covered the entire top space of the newspaper in the largest fonts I have ever seen. I have never seen such a big headline again. It went on to say that Mrs. Indira Gandhi, the then Prime Minister of India, with the approval of the President, V. V. Giri had declared war on Pakistan. It also said a state of emergency was declared.
Let us look into the background of this. Not all will recall that what is now Bangladesh was the erstwhile East Pakistan then. It was a Bengali speaking majority controlled by an Urdu speaking minority based in West Pakistan. Bengali was the only language in Pakistan not written in the Persian-Arabic script. Separated from Pakistan by 1000 kms of the Indian state the local population felt exploited and discriminated. The Awami League lead by Sheikh Mujibur Rehman had won absolute majority in the election in March 1971 but were prevented from forming the government by the martial ruler of Pakistan, General Yahya Khan.
A cyclone Bhola had also devasted coastal areas of Bangladesh and the rulers in West Pakistan were accused of fumbling and misappropriation of relief funds by the local Bengalis. This lead to a sessionist movement and declaration of an Independent State called Bangladesh by Sheikh Mujibur Rahman on 7th March 1971. He was arrested on treason charges and there was a crackdown on the separatist movement.
The Bengali soldiers in the Pakistani army and the police mutinied against there Urdu speaking overlords and formed a liberation force called the ‘Mukti Bahini’. The Mukti Bahini was a guerrilla force akin to the Vietcong in Vietnam received support and supplies from India. There was a strong wave of sympathy from the bordering states in India as the population was ethnically and linguistically similar.
The reaction of the Pakistani overlords was to let loose a genocide, pushing 10 million refugees into the bordering Indian states. I still remember when we used to buy Inland letters or envelopes from the post office an additional 5 paise stamp was attached for ‘refugee relief’. This practice continued long after the end of the war. When I asked why? “The refugees are still there!” was the reply.
There was the famous ‘Concert for Bangladesh’ in August 1971, organised by ex Beatle George Harrison and sitar maestro Ravi Shankar. Ravi Shankar has his ancestral roots in Bangladesh and was moved by the plight of the refugees and the inadequate relief by the Indian authorities. He appealed to George Harrison and together they organized two concerts and an album. They managed to raise $12 million which was given to the UNICEF for refugee relief. Ravi Shankar said “The concert overnight made people aware about a country called Bangladesh and it’s plight.
Once full scale war was declared we were asked to stick brown bamboo paper on windows of our homes and blacken the upper half of the headlights of our vehicles. This was to prevent light being visible from the air in case of an air strike. The brown paper had the additional advantage of preventing the glass splintering by keeping the broken piece together. At various crossings the Police would stop your car and a painter would blacken the upper part of the headlight.
Those were the pre ‘smart bomb’ days when bombing was done by sight. Today such preventive measures are redundant.
Patriotism was at a fever pitch and people put up patriotic stickers on their cars reading ‘India crush Pak’ or ‘Crush Yahya’.
General Agha Mohammed Yahya Khan was the military successor of General Ayub Khan. He from the Punjab Province of Pakistan and of Qizilbash origin or Azerbaijani. He had a fondness to wine, women and song which has led to the downfall of many good men. After the defeat of Pakistan and the liberation of Bangladesh he handed over power to the civilian government of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto.
Every night we as a family would sit in darkness and listen first to the news on Akashwani/All India Radio, then my father would switch to BBC World Service and say “अब असली ख़बर पता चलेगा” (now we will know the actual news), which was true as the news on state owned media was heavily censored.
My mother used to read the Bible aloud to us after dinner and we would have a family prayer. We prayed for the victory of the Indian army and the soldiers who died in combat.
Well our prayers were answered because the Indian forces dominated the Pakistani forces on land, sea and air. The Chief of the Army Staff was General Sam Maneckshaw. A Parsi gentleman who had served in the British army prior to the partition. During the partition he had the choice of either joining the Indian army or the Pakistani army. His choice is now history but once in an interview he was asked, “What would have been the outcome of the 1971 war if you were leading the Pakistani Army?” Being bombastic and flamboyant he said in jest “Then Pakistan would have won!” This obviously did not go down well with the politicians in power.
The Indian army made rapid inroads into Pakistani territory even in Pak occupied Kashmir but these were later ceded in the famous Simla agreement post war between the Indian Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi and Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the President of Pakistan as a good will gesture. The agreement signed on the 2nd of July 1972 whose essence was that all future disputes between the countries would be settled by bilateral negotiations including Kashmir. The cease fire line of December 17th 1972 should be recognized as the line of control. This agreement is observed more in it’s breach, but it paved way for the Pakistanis recognizing Bangladesh as a separate nation.
The Navy successfully blockaded the ports in Bangladesh preventing military supplies from reaching, sank Pakistani warships and bombed Karachi. The Naval Chief was Admiral S. M. Nanda who was not as flamboyant as Maneckshaw.
Nanda’s son Suresh Nanda is a business man and arms dealer and was implicated in some shady deals in 1999. His grandson Sanjeev Nanda was convicted in the famous 2008 BMW hit and run case in Delhi.
The Air Force under Air Marshal P. C. Lall ran circles around the Pakistani aircrafts. The shortest route to East Pakistan was over the Indian subcontinent, this the Indian government did not allow. They had to go along the Indian peninsula up till Sri Lanka and then across the bay of Bengal to Bangladesh. According to reports Pakistan Air Force fared so badly in dog flights and lost so many aircrafts that they decided to avoided confrontation completely and kept their planes safely grounded while the Indian Air Force pounded targets in Pakistan.
The end of the war came 12 days after it began on 16th December 1971 when the Mukti Bahini supported by the Indian Army took over Dacca. The Pakistani Commander Lieutenant General A.A.A. Niazi surrendered to the Lieutenant General Jagjit Singh Aurora of the Indian army and in charge of the Eastern Command.
This is another moment I remember very clearly. I had gone to play in a friend’s house, his mother was listening to the radio came out excitedly, “Do you know that the Mukti Bahini has taken Dacca?” I don’t know but that was a very emotional moment for me and even today memories of that moment brings tears to my eyes and I almost sob. There are tears in my eyes even now. Tears of pride and relief that in one of the shortest war fought, we managed to decimate our enemy decisively and liberate a nation.
My mother who has memories of the World War 2 remembers the shortages and the rationing of those times. The famous ‘ration card’ is a remanent of the World War 2. If the war lingered we would have also faced deprivation due shortages.
There was the famous balance of power prevalent in those days where the super powers played sides. The Pakistanis had the USA backing them while we had the erstwhile USSR or for the uninitiated, the Union of the Soviet Socialist Republic. This prevented either of the big guys interfering. Though there was posturing, at the height of the war the USA stationed it’s 7th Fleet task force 74 in the Bay of Bengal in readiness. The Soviets dispatched their 10th Operative Battle Group of it’s Pacific fleet in retaliation. In addition there were the Chinese backing the Pakistani and posturing threateningly across the border.
After the liberation of Bangladesh, Sheikh Mujibur Rahman took over as it’s first President. As far as a nations go it was considered a basket case. Mujibur faced a nation with poverty, unemployment and corruption.
On 15th August 1975 he along with his entire family were assassinated by disgruntled military officers. Only two of his daughters Hasina and Rehana were visiting Germany and escaped getting assassinated. Sheikh Hasina is now the current Prime Minister of Bangladesh.

An ugly girl!

“There are no ugly girls just girls who don’t know how to look beautiful.” I read this statement long ago before the dawn of social media, I was not convinced about the veracity of the statement then but now with the explosion of social media and the democratization of digital devices, every girl with some idea of make up and camera angles can post glamorous pictures of herself.

In the good old days few people had cameras, they had to be loaded with film and each roll contained 33 shots. You did not waste the shots and carefully chose the pictures. Then there was no instant gratification, you could not see the results until you developed it and only place you could display them is on your family album. Only film stars, celebrities and professional models featured on the pages of glossies and you believed that they had what no one else had. Then came the internet followed by social media like Facebook. Now everyone has a digital camera on their phone. Knowledge of make up and trendy clothes is available online. Experimenting with camera angles no longer involves developing pictures but is instantly there on the screen of your mobile to review. Then what is the use of great pictures unless people can see them? For that everyone has a personal wall on which they can post glamourous pictures of themselves which people can appreciate. An exercise of self gratification. But what is wrong with that? Actually nothing! Self gratification is has been a past time for humans since time immemorial.
The recent comments by the Chief Minister of Tripura, Biplab Deb, regarding Diana Hayden not representing Indian Beauty made me think “‘he suffers from ‘foot and mouth’ disease”. If you wish to compete in any international event, you have to play by the rules. Whether it’s a beauty pageant or sports. There are some criteria for beauty which the contestants have to fulfill. The judges are given a checklist on which they tick and based on that the winner is chosen. I have read that all you require for participating in a beauty pageant is height. The rest can be manufactured! The perfect smile, the smooth complexion, the svelte figure and so on. In other words beauty is universal and ugliness only for the ignorant.