Our Hostel in Christian Medical College, Vellore was called by the residents as ‘The Mansion of the God’ (sometimes derogatorily referred to as ‘Se-Men’s Hostel). It was a great place to have spent the formative years of our lives.
The Hostel was described as a ‘Five Star Hotel’, it had all the amenities of a Five Star Hotel. It had a swimming pool (a pond in the centre of the driveway) in which on hot summer days we used to laze around in or sometimes some unwary passing soul invariably a pisser bugger (referring to the juniors) would get thrown into it. It had a Health Club (Men’s Hostel Gym) where you would find lots of muscle men and wannabe muscle men training for the title of Mr. Men’s Hostel. It was a tradition to choose the most emaciated of the freshers to compete. Just to make the true body builders look good and provide laughs. In our first year our own ‘Arnold Shwarzenegger’ incarnate Sunil Agarwal (Bugaroo) took part in Mr. Men’s Hostel competition. He posed in all his hirsute glory, flexing his biceps, triceps and then turning around and showing his ‘Paulie-ceps’). It had a Men’s only Saloon (Nathan’s) where we could get suitably ‘shaven and shorn’ for the benefit of the residents of the ‘other side of the road’ all forlorn. It had an all night coffee shop (Swamidoss who was also reputed to be a drug pusher on the side). A well stocked library (though it was rumoured that the best pornographic literature could be found tucked away under the mattresses of the residents). A recreational area with TV, Carroms, chess and cards (the dumb ones played ‘28’ and the smart ones played Bridge). You would find card players with card sticking behind their ears as a penalty called ‘kunooks’ (whatever that meant, my Malayalee readers please translate). Finally we had the shopping arcade, the Co-operative Store. A bell ringing would herald the opening of this store and the residents would line up to purchases their essentials. One of the essentials included ‘Tantex Jocks’ manufactured by the TTK conglomerate (for the uninitiated the store kept a supply of ‘Chaddis’, ‘Jattis’, innerwear or lingerie, whatever you wish to call them) and in various colours. You could get them in orange, green, red and even in purple. This was one article of dress which you had to keep a good supply of as you needed to change them everyday (though one resident came up with the good idea of wearing them inside out the next day and prolonging their wash life by a day). Normally these ‘unmentionables’ was not given to the dhobi for washing unless you were interested in fungal infections of your balls. These were carefully washed and hung for drying on a line strung in front of your room. It made an interesting sight especially when the bus would come around the drive of Men’s Hostel you would see a rainbow of jocks.Remember we had a programme called ‘Impact’ in which class wise we presented skits which made an Impact. I think it was during our first year our skit was planned by S.T.C. The skit began with a darkened stage and a prop on stage, then suddenly out jumped a figure from behind the prop. He was a masked man, wearing purple tights and over the tights he wore ‘purple Tantex Jocks’ and he was none other than the ‘Ghost who Walks’ Phantom being acted out by our own ‘Director Elect’, S.T.C., Sunil Thomas Chandy. He danced a jig singing “Devil O’ my Devil, where the Hell are you oh my Devil” (Devil is Phantom’s Dog sorry wolf, by the way). He really made and impact as Chandy always manages to do. We suddenly realized that only in comics do Superheroes look dashing wearing their underwear outside their tights! The piece de resistance was that the Jocks were not his own but borrowed from Priyo Sada who did not give a second thought about loaning his jocks and not enquire about the use.

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