In my neck of the woods we have surnames based on either the person’s profession or related to the village where he comes from or some notable deed his ancestors may have done. So if someone has the surname Sutar then traditionally a carpenter, if he is called Sonar then a Goldsmith, if he is called Kumbhare then a potter (On the lines of the western surnames like Carpenter, Gold Smith and Harry Potter only our version would be Hari Kumbhare). Then you have the Nagpurkars, the Tendulkars and the Gavaskars who have their ancestral village suffixed with a ‘kar’. Finally you have those names which are based on some notable deed their ancestors may have done so you have the mighty Waghmares (Tiger slayer), the lesser Bailmares (Bullock slayer), the more diminutive Titarmare (Partridge slayer) and finally last but not the least Undirmare (Rat slayer). But some of the surnames make no sense at all so I came up with a list of unsuitable surnames for doctors.
1.Dr. Andhare (Blind)-Opthalmologist (Why on earth would someone be treated by a Doctor who sees only darkness)
2.Dr. Lulay (Crippled)-Orthopaedic (Would you go to a Doctor who has a surname which means crippled?)
3.Dr. Kanfade (Tear ear)-ENT (Perhaps you may consider it appropriate to visit a Doctor who is called ‘ear cutter, by the way there is also a ‘Jibkate’ tongue cutter for you to visit)
4.Dr. Doke (Head)-Neurologist (this name may not be that unsuitable for you would consider it a good omen to visit a neurologist called Dr. Head)
5.Dr. Potdukhe (Stomach ache)-Gastroenterologist (Why on earth would you like to visit a doctor who is called stomach ache for your own stomache)
6.Dr. Kane (One eyed)-squint specialist (Considering getting your squint corrected? Then visit Dr. Squint himself)
5.Dr. Manmode (Neck twisted)-spondylitis specialist (Got a pain in the neck? Then visit Dr. Necktwister for relief)
6.Dr. Parkarwarkar (Raise your petticoat) -Gynaecologist (Ladies if you have a problem would you consider visiting a doctor called ‘Petticoat-raiser’ even though thats what all gynaecologist ultimately tell their patients to do)
7.Dr. Dungankhajawe (Scratching bum)o-Piles specialist (it may be comforting to know when you are suffering from piles that you are not alone. Your doctor is also suffering from pruritis ani due to which he has to constantly scratch his behind or at least that what his name suggests. Another friend suggested the name of Dr. Ghanfade but he may be a little too violent constantly tearing asses)
8.Dr. Boob-Breast specialist (One of my colleagues resigned and joined practice with Dr. Boob. He was asked which Boob? The bigger or the smaller? By which the person meant the father or the son? Well my friend innocently replied the smaller one. So boys remember ‘Bigger is not necessarily better’, though it may be ‘tighter and svelter’ but alas even that sags with age!)
9.Dr. Screwala-Sexologist (This would be a totally suitable name if you have problems in screwing!)
So friends here ends my epistle, it may be funnier if you know the language but I have tried to translate.